Back in the day, my mother made me write thank you notes for every gift I ever received. I might not have appreciated this discipline at the time, but over the years, it became a part of me. Now, I happily write those notes on my own.

I have noticed, however, the art of writing thank you notes seems to have been mostly lost. I have about a ten to twenty percent return of thank you notes for gifts I send at Christmas or birthdays. How does this feel to me, the giver? First, if the gift was mailed, I wonder if the gift arrived at all. If the gift was hand delivered, I wonder if the gift was appreciated. Did I send something the recipient didn’t want or need or like? 

In a recent Ms. Manners column, a reader asked if email wouldn’t be a better choice than a hand written note for saying thank you with COVID concerns. Ms. Manners didn’t buy it.

She noted mental and emotional health concerns would be more pressing than any physical risk from receiving mail during the pandemic. She says, “Imagine, with all of the junk mail that comes to someone, there, too, (in the daily mail pile) is an envelope with the actual handwriting of someone who seems truly grateful for a present given or a favor done. It indicates that kindness is appreciated. Don’t we need some of that?”

  Luke’s gospel (Luke 17:11-19) tells the story of ten lepers who cried out to Jesus to be delivered of their leprosy. Jesus commanded them to go to their priests, and as they went, they were healed.

One of the ten, a Samaritan, upon seeing that he had been healed, returned to Jesus, fell down in praise and worship and thanked him.  Jesus asked, “Were not ten healed? Where are the other nine? Were none of them found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?”

Why did Jesus Himself feel that expressing thanksgiving was important? Here are some possible reasons:

1. In saying “thank you” we are humbling ourselves, acknowledging we are in the position of being blessed by the giver, who is the generous soul.
2. This, in turn, allows the giver to be blessed through the giving and the emotional endorsement from our thanksgiving.
3. Coupled with our “thank you” we can point out ways other than the gift at hand the giver has touched our life. This is a real encouragement to the giver.
4. When we thank someone for something, we attract more of that into our lives. I used to collect demitasse cups. Every time someone gave me a cup, I wrote a thank you note. Pretty soon I had to stop collecting because I didn’t have room for any more.
5. Writing thank you notes encourages me. God has blessed me with the gift, whatever it is, and it helps me to reflect on how many blessings He has provided for me.

The Samaritan leper might not have written his thanks, but he certainly gave it. Written thank you notes can bring joy and encouragement years after they have been written. I save the good ones. During COVID and always, we need encouragement and we need to be appreciated.